Matthew 5:7
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
As we live our way through this current crisis, most of us find ourselves spending much more time online. The tools that revolutionized our world 20 years ago and ushered in the digital age have allowed us during this moment to stay connected with one another. This is, on the whole, a good thing. I know pastors who live in areas with little to no internet connection who are struggling mightily to stay connected to their congregations.
There are dangers to spending more time on the internet. Aside from the obvious psychological effects of too much screen time and not enough sunlight, there’s the fact that the internet can be kind of a mean place. Especially, the common space through which most of us experience the internet on a daily basis: Facebook.
Facebook is often a cesspool of negativity. There are the political posts that scream about how terrible members of the opposite party are. It’s not enough that you disagree with the other guy’s policies; according to these posts, he’s Hitler and his followers are Nazis… There’s also the morally superior posts that basically tell you however you’re thinking and feeling is wrong. You know the ones… “Stop complaining about how much harder your job is because of COVID-19; at least you have a job!” “If you don’t wear a facemask to go to the mailbox, you’re killing my grandma!” “If you bought two loafs of bread last time you went to the grocery store, YOU’RE the problem!” The ‘you’re the problem’ ones always get me. Here all this time we thought we were fighting a disease and the real problem was my toilet paper habits.
I belong to a United Methodist Clergy group on Facebook and I’m thinking about leaving. There is no end to what the people in that group can find to disagree about. It used to be theology and human sexuality but COVID-19 has given us all new things to debate: Whether our churches should open or stay closed…. Whether it is okay to serve communion via Zoom or not.... Whether drive-in worship services are a good idea or not... Rest assured, whatever you think about any of these issues, to someone else, YOU’RE the problem! No matter what you post in this group, someone will disagree with you. It could be as innocent as “Jesus loves me” and someone will find something to criticize (just YOU? how egocentric…).
All of this negativity takes a toll on us. We either join in and become cynical ourselves or we are driven away and feel isolated. All in service of the supreme virtue of Facebook (and one could argue American discourse in general): being right. When being right is prized above being kind or fair or understanding, we sell our souls to win an argument. Trust me. It’s true. I’ve done it more than once.
That’s why I’m hesitant to let my own kids have Facebook accounts. Luckily for me, they’ve shown little interest. Like most teens, my girls are into Instagram. Instagram is a social networking site where people share pictures and comment on each other’s pictures. It has its own set of problems but, overall, it is a much friendlier place. Norah likes to share her latest drawing. When she does, her friends and family generally make positive comments and click on hearts to tell her what a good job she did. And she goes in search of others to tell how much she enjoys their painting or how cute they look in their new hat. Like I said, it has its own issues. I worry about my girls seeing all these pictures of perfect happy people and thinking their lives need to be perfect and happy all the time or else there’s something wrong with them. But at least on Instagram, THEY are never the problem.
I want my kids to have an Instagram heart in a Facebook world. I’m not worried about them being right about everything. I want them to be encouraging and generous. I want them to be seen— unafraid to shine! But I also want them to see others and appreciate what they offer. In other words, I want them to be kind.
This is the sense of the Greek word ‘eleo’ that is translated as ‘mercy’ in the beatitude: “blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” To be merciful is to see someone in need and do a kind thing for them. Jesus promises that this kindness is rewarded. That those who are kind to others will receive kindness in return. And, while it is not a perfect law of physics, I have generally found this to be true. When we are kind to others, they are more likely to be kind to us when we need it. When we are charitable with our neighbor when they goof up and say something that offends us; they are more likely to be charitable with us when we do the same.
Being right is it’s own reward. We get the immediate hit of dopamine to the brain that comes with momentarily vanquishing the foe and winning the praise of the crowd. But it wears off quickly and we’ve gained nothing that will help us later when we’re inevitably wrong about something. But being kind… that can change lives… The person we’re being kind to and potentially our own.
I knew a man who shared a story with me. He told me how he worked in a field where very few minorities were able to advance at the time. One of his colleagues was a African American woman. Whenever they would go to meetings, she would be one of a few women and usually the only black one. He said he always made point to be kind to her. To include her in discussions, to chat with her before and after meetings, and to speak well of her to colleagues. There was nothing to be gained from any of this. It was just my friend’s character to look out for others. A decade later, he found himself up for a promotion in the organization. As it turned out, one of the primary decision makers was the lady she had been kind to all those years ago and he received the promotion.
Now this wasn’t simple arithmetic. My friend was clearly qualified and deserving of advancement and there were other decision makers, but he has no doubt that his kindness made a difference. Even if it hadn’t, it would be enough that his kindness made a difference to her and that that added something of value to the world.
Each of these beatitudes challenge the world's value system. Of course in society we like to pay lip service to the virus of kindness. But we reward power. We reward brawlers who are right. But that is not the Kingdom's value system. The Kingdom is being built in our midst, brick by brick, one act of kindness at a time.
Father, help us to be merciful to those in need. Give us kind hearts. Make us charitable to those who can give us nothing in return. In this way we will receive our eternal reward when we come into your Kingdom. Amen.
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